GaryMo Monday - The Most Difficult Thing About Working at a Church

So, it's GaryMo Monday and this is the first of my posts from the "Twenty for Twenty-Eleven." I've actually been struggling with this topic for quite some time. I've started to write about it a couple of times...but I always wimp out and delete it.


I don't know what I'm afraid of. I know and have said many times how blessed I am to work at the church I work at. It truly is one of the healthiest churches I've ever seen or heard of. I know because I've talked to folks who do what I do in other churches. I'm blessed. Really.


The difficulty I have has nothing to do with the job I do. I love my job. I can't wait to go to work in the mornings. I can't wait to be in the booth for the weekend services. I've never felt more at home at a job.


So, what is it that I struggle with?

If I'm being honest...I have trouble keeping my job separate from my spiritual journey.


Hey, I work for God, right? Isn't that enough?


I know the answer...it's obviously "No."


God wants more from me than the job I do at the church. He wants more from me than how I serve His people when I facilitate a class. He wants more from me than the way I lead and pour into volunteers.


And can I just say...I want more from Him too?


God wants MY heart. God wants to spend time with just ME. He wants to talk to me...through His word, through my prayers, through my family and friends. He wants me to hear Him.


I want to hear Him. I think.


But I'm too busy...and I stay busy...and sometimes I think I do it so that I won't hear Him. So, I won't hear the truth. A truth I already know.


I know I haven't fully surrendered to Him. I know I'm still trying to do some things my way...not His (even though I keep telling myself that everything I'm doing is FOR Him).


But I want to fully surrender...I want to trust Him. Completely. But I know that means I'm going to need to change. I going to need to let go. I going to need to let Him.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:5

What gets in the way of your spiritual journey? What kinds of things do you do to avoid hearing the still small voice of God?