Forsaken?

So, I fell of the wagon again. It's been almost 3 months since I've blogged. No excuses. Just haven't dedicated myself to writing, but I'm writing now to answer some questions I've received on Twitter and Facebook about a tweet I shot off this afternoon which read:

"Well, that was a discouraging phone call."

A couple of weeks ago, I received a phone call from our landlord informing me that he was thinking about putting the house we rent up for sale. He's apparently very property rich and cash poor right now and the economy has caught up with him (Join the club!) and his accountant is suggesting that he liquidate his rental properties. I told him we really wanted to stay and we discussed some possible solutions. He was open to possibilities and said he'd get back to me.

I prayed.

It was one of those prayers that you pray one time. I gave the situation over to God and I was at peace.

I sent up a prayer request to the prayer warriors at The Crossing. That's something I rarely do...ask others to pray for things in my life. I always feel like there are other people that need prayer more than me, but this time I figured it couldn't hurt. My prayer and the prayer I asked for was for my little girl to not have to change schools. She loves her school. She loves her friends. I didn't want to force change on her life...again.

Last night I got another call from our landlord. He's selling the house. We have to move...again.

I prayed.

Again, I gave it over to God and felt that same feeling of peace.

I got online to start looking for houses for rent. I went to Craig's List and right away found 4 houses in my daughter's elementary school boundaries. They were all in our budget range and I felt very encouraged. One of them was really appealing and I admit I started getting my hopes up.

I called the property management company this afternoon and was immediately shot down. The credit score requirement disqualifies us and the gentleman I talked to said that the rental market has changed quite a bit recently and indicated that, in his opinion, we'd have a very difficult time qualifying for anything in this market.

That was the discouraging phone call.

Now admittedly, it's just one phone call. It's just one attempt. We didn't get into our current home with just one call. But, nevertheless, I am discouraged. I'm starting to feel afraid.

I'm feeling like God isn't listening.

It was a simple prayer and it wasn't for me. It was for a little six year old girl. It was a prayer that her life not be turned upside-down. That she have a sense of stability in her life. That she not have to sacrifice.

I know that God hasn't said "No!" to my prayer yet, but tell that to a little girl.

A little girl who has to give up her "Tinkerbell" room. The one she waited patiently for for almost a year before her daddy painted it the right colors. A little girl who is afraid of what first grade is going to be like and if her friends will be in her class. A little girl who is facing the possibility of giving up her kitty cats because the next house we move to might not allow them to come with her. A little girl who named our house "Allison."

It breaks my heart.

And all I keep asking is "Why, God?" 

I believe He has us right where He wants us and so I just can't believe that this is happening. Are we being forsaken or is He going to come through right at the right time? When is the right time? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? I don't know how much time we have here.

I'm afraid...and I don't want to be.

So, I'll pray.

But this time I'll pray for myself. I'll pray that He help me to trust in Him. That He return that feeling of peace I get when I know that He's got us in His hands. That I not be afraid.

And I ask that you pray too.

GaryMo Monday - How I Handle Negative People

How do I handle negative people? The short answer is...not well.

The truth about me is that deep down...really deep down...I am a negative person. I don't think most people would say that about me, but I believe that those closest to me would say that I can definitely be negative at times. A grouch.

I hate that about me.

I've worked really hard to change that...to be more positive. To look on the bright side. To take pleasure in the little things. To not sweat the small stuff.

And to remember to turn things over to God because as Paul says in Philippians 4:7, "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I know that peace. I've felt that peace.


It's glorious.

Our pastor at The Crossing has been doing a series on Philippians since January. Last weekend his message hit me right between the eyes. It was about anxiety...worry. One of my biggest weaknesses. I sometimes worry to the point of paralysis. I let myself get so overwhelmed with anxiety that I don't know what to do next.

So...I often do nothing.


Except worry.

Paul tells us that we should not be anxious...we should pray...giving thanks to God and turn over our requests to Him. I realized last weekend that I haven't been doing that. Sure, I've been praying, but not the real, raw, from-the-gut prayers where I tell God what's really weighing on me...what I need help with.

Those are the prayers that bring wisdom, discernment, comfort...peace.

When I'm in that place of peace with God, I'm not negative...I'm not worried. I know God's got my back. I know He'll lead me and use me.

When I'm in that place, I handle negative people well. I don't let them pull me down into the hole...I instead lift them up out of it. I'm a light in a dark place.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Paul's reminding us to be positive...to think excellent thoughts. To find joy in every situation...'cause it's there. Always.

Our attitude is a choice that we make. We can choose to see the crap in the world and let it pull us down or we can choose to see the glory of God in everything and allow Him to raise us up above the crap.

Which will you choose today? I'm going to choose to pray hard, think excellent thoughts and let the peace of God guard my heart and mind.


I hope you do too.

This is the 7th of 20 posts that I'm calling GaryMo Mondays.

For more background on this series, read this post.

This or That

I love this...



That is all.

GaryMo Monday - The Intersection of Art & Leadership

I spent the first part of this week at the Gurus of Tech conference in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. It was at the Willow Creek Community Church McHenry campus. It was a great 3 days spent with lots of other technical artists from churches all across the country. It's always good to connect with people and to take my online relationships offline and spend some face time.

One of the keynote speakers was Harvey Carey, the senior pastor from Citadel of Faith Covenant Church in Detroit, MI. He really had an encouraging message for all the technical artists in the room. But there was one question he raised that really resonated with me:

What would happen if you took your talents and asked the Holy Spirit to get behind you with your spiritual gifts?

I think this is the intersection of art and leadership.

I wrote several months ago about the difference between talents and spiritual gifts. Talents are the things we are naturally good at...things we have a proclivity for. Spiritual gifts are given to us when we surrender to Jesus and accept the Holy Spirit. They're different...and we all have different talents and gifts.

I have talents that I bring to my job with the production team at The Crossing. My creativity, my photography, my attention to detail, my technical skills...to name a few. My key spiritual gifts though are leadership, helps and administration.

When I let the Holy Spirit guide me, my talents become tools that allow me to use my spiritual gifts to serve the Kingdom and suddenly my job becomes my ministry.

I could use my talents in a lot of other places...and probably make a LOT more money. But I wouldn't be advancing the Kingdom, seeing hearts opened and lives changed. I'd just be doing a job.

I am CALLED to ministry.

I am called in this time and this place to use my art (my talents) to serve the Most High God (to lead His people).

The intersection of art and leadership.

This is the 6th of 20 posts that I'm calling GaryMo Mondays.

For more background on this series, read this post.

UPDATE - Katie Wins!

Back in November, I asked ya'll to check out a contest that Advent Conspiracy was having and to vote for my friend Elizabeth's daughter's video. I don't know how many people saw that post or how many were led to vote from my request, but I'm excited to tell you that Katie won...she may get to go with Living Water International and dig  a fresh water well.

Way cool.

Here's her original video:



And (I'm not sure if this will work, but...) here's a link to a video posted on Elizabeth's blog where she tells Katie the news of her winning the contest.

So AWESOME!

Thank you to all of you who voted for Katie. I am so excited for her and to see the work that God will do through her with this little video contest.

He is SO GOOD!