GaryMo Monday - How God Continues To Save Me

DAILY.

God saves me daily.

Every day I wake up, I have to remind myself that I am a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). 

Every...

single...

day.

I have to remind myself and let myself become that new creation because almost every day that old me creeps into something. A moment in the car when someone cuts me off. A moment at work when I let pride get the best of me. A moment at home when I let anger take control.

Some days there's more than others. Some days there's almost none.

But no day is ever pErfEcT.

I fail.

A lot.

Take this post, for example. when you get to the end, you'll see a tag-line that says "This is the 8th of 20 posts that I'm calling GaryMo Mondays." I started a project last year...and didn't finish it. Didn't even come close.

I failed.

It's a new year. I could let it go. Start fresh.

But I'm not going to. I'm going to keep plugging on these 20 topics until I finish the list.

I'm a new creation in Christ and He's not finished with me yet. Every day is an opportunity to keep moving towards the person He wants me to be. The person He's called me to be.

Thank you, God, for continuing to save me. For not giving up on me even when I want to give up on myself. Help me to follow Your calling for my life and to be the person You designed me to be.

Amen.

This is the 8th of 20 posts that I'm calling GaryMo Mondays.

For more background on this series, read this post.

Forsaken?

So, I fell of the wagon again. It's been almost 3 months since I've blogged. No excuses. Just haven't dedicated myself to writing, but I'm writing now to answer some questions I've received on Twitter and Facebook about a tweet I shot off this afternoon which read:

"Well, that was a discouraging phone call."

A couple of weeks ago, I received a phone call from our landlord informing me that he was thinking about putting the house we rent up for sale. He's apparently very property rich and cash poor right now and the economy has caught up with him (Join the club!) and his accountant is suggesting that he liquidate his rental properties. I told him we really wanted to stay and we discussed some possible solutions. He was open to possibilities and said he'd get back to me.

I prayed.

It was one of those prayers that you pray one time. I gave the situation over to God and I was at peace.

I sent up a prayer request to the prayer warriors at The Crossing. That's something I rarely do...ask others to pray for things in my life. I always feel like there are other people that need prayer more than me, but this time I figured it couldn't hurt. My prayer and the prayer I asked for was for my little girl to not have to change schools. She loves her school. She loves her friends. I didn't want to force change on her life...again.

Last night I got another call from our landlord. He's selling the house. We have to move...again.

I prayed.

Again, I gave it over to God and felt that same feeling of peace.

I got online to start looking for houses for rent. I went to Craig's List and right away found 4 houses in my daughter's elementary school boundaries. They were all in our budget range and I felt very encouraged. One of them was really appealing and I admit I started getting my hopes up.

I called the property management company this afternoon and was immediately shot down. The credit score requirement disqualifies us and the gentleman I talked to said that the rental market has changed quite a bit recently and indicated that, in his opinion, we'd have a very difficult time qualifying for anything in this market.

That was the discouraging phone call.

Now admittedly, it's just one phone call. It's just one attempt. We didn't get into our current home with just one call. But, nevertheless, I am discouraged. I'm starting to feel afraid.

I'm feeling like God isn't listening.

It was a simple prayer and it wasn't for me. It was for a little six year old girl. It was a prayer that her life not be turned upside-down. That she have a sense of stability in her life. That she not have to sacrifice.

I know that God hasn't said "No!" to my prayer yet, but tell that to a little girl.

A little girl who has to give up her "Tinkerbell" room. The one she waited patiently for for almost a year before her daddy painted it the right colors. A little girl who is afraid of what first grade is going to be like and if her friends will be in her class. A little girl who is facing the possibility of giving up her kitty cats because the next house we move to might not allow them to come with her. A little girl who named our house "Allison."

It breaks my heart.

And all I keep asking is "Why, God?" 

I believe He has us right where He wants us and so I just can't believe that this is happening. Are we being forsaken or is He going to come through right at the right time? When is the right time? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? I don't know how much time we have here.

I'm afraid...and I don't want to be.

So, I'll pray.

But this time I'll pray for myself. I'll pray that He help me to trust in Him. That He return that feeling of peace I get when I know that He's got us in His hands. That I not be afraid.

And I ask that you pray too.

GaryMo Monday - The Most Difficult Thing About Working at a Church

So, it's GaryMo Monday and this is the first of my posts from the "Twenty for Twenty-Eleven." I've actually been struggling with this topic for quite some time. I've started to write about it a couple of times...but I always wimp out and delete it.


I don't know what I'm afraid of. I know and have said many times how blessed I am to work at the church I work at. It truly is one of the healthiest churches I've ever seen or heard of. I know because I've talked to folks who do what I do in other churches. I'm blessed. Really.


The difficulty I have has nothing to do with the job I do. I love my job. I can't wait to go to work in the mornings. I can't wait to be in the booth for the weekend services. I've never felt more at home at a job.


So, what is it that I struggle with?

If I'm being honest...I have trouble keeping my job separate from my spiritual journey.


Hey, I work for God, right? Isn't that enough?


I know the answer...it's obviously "No."


God wants more from me than the job I do at the church. He wants more from me than how I serve His people when I facilitate a class. He wants more from me than the way I lead and pour into volunteers.


And can I just say...I want more from Him too?


God wants MY heart. God wants to spend time with just ME. He wants to talk to me...through His word, through my prayers, through my family and friends. He wants me to hear Him.


I want to hear Him. I think.


But I'm too busy...and I stay busy...and sometimes I think I do it so that I won't hear Him. So, I won't hear the truth. A truth I already know.


I know I haven't fully surrendered to Him. I know I'm still trying to do some things my way...not His (even though I keep telling myself that everything I'm doing is FOR Him).


But I want to fully surrender...I want to trust Him. Completely. But I know that means I'm going to need to change. I going to need to let go. I going to need to let Him.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:5

What gets in the way of your spiritual journey? What kinds of things do you do to avoid hearing the still small voice of God?