GaryMo Monday - How I Handle Negative People

How do I handle negative people? The short answer is...not well.

The truth about me is that deep down...really deep down...I am a negative person. I don't think most people would say that about me, but I believe that those closest to me would say that I can definitely be negative at times. A grouch.

I hate that about me.

I've worked really hard to change that...to be more positive. To look on the bright side. To take pleasure in the little things. To not sweat the small stuff.

And to remember to turn things over to God because as Paul says in Philippians 4:7, "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I know that peace. I've felt that peace.


It's glorious.

Our pastor at The Crossing has been doing a series on Philippians since January. Last weekend his message hit me right between the eyes. It was about anxiety...worry. One of my biggest weaknesses. I sometimes worry to the point of paralysis. I let myself get so overwhelmed with anxiety that I don't know what to do next.

So...I often do nothing.


Except worry.

Paul tells us that we should not be anxious...we should pray...giving thanks to God and turn over our requests to Him. I realized last weekend that I haven't been doing that. Sure, I've been praying, but not the real, raw, from-the-gut prayers where I tell God what's really weighing on me...what I need help with.

Those are the prayers that bring wisdom, discernment, comfort...peace.

When I'm in that place of peace with God, I'm not negative...I'm not worried. I know God's got my back. I know He'll lead me and use me.

When I'm in that place, I handle negative people well. I don't let them pull me down into the hole...I instead lift them up out of it. I'm a light in a dark place.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Paul's reminding us to be positive...to think excellent thoughts. To find joy in every situation...'cause it's there. Always.

Our attitude is a choice that we make. We can choose to see the crap in the world and let it pull us down or we can choose to see the glory of God in everything and allow Him to raise us up above the crap.

Which will you choose today? I'm going to choose to pray hard, think excellent thoughts and let the peace of God guard my heart and mind.


I hope you do too.

This is the 7th of 20 posts that I'm calling GaryMo Mondays.

For more background on this series, read this post.

It's a new year, so it's time for a new...WORD?

I'm not a New Year's resolution kinda guy.

Never have been.

It's always seemed to me that most people set themselves up for failure when the make resolutions. They choose lofty goals and then when they find out that change is hard all they can see is how far away from the end game they are and don't focus on the little victories right in front of them.

And then they give up.

And they do it again the next year.

I went to a small get-together on New Year's Eve and there was a discussion about making more goal-based resolutions. Instead of saying "I want to lose weight." say "I'm going to run a half-marathon in April." It kinda makes sense. You'll probably lose weight if you're training to run a half-marathon, but the cynic in me says what do you do when you find out you hate to run?

I started thinking that it would be better to just pick a theme, a word maybe, that could define the new year for me. Genius, I thought. I even had the word picked out. Then, my friend Katie posted on New Year's Day her One Word 2011... post.

Wow...she beat me to it.

or

Great minds think alike! Heh.

It turns out that Katie was inspired by this post from Alece and after reading it and a few other things on Alece's blog...yeah, so am I. Inspired. Completely. Once again, God comes up with a way to show me how blessed I am when I'm wallowing around in my junk.

So, that said, what's my word? Just like Katie, I'm going with SURRENDER.

It's the word that everything else follows. If I surrender to Jesus, nothing else can get in the way. If I do it His way, there can be no question in the choices I make or the actions I take.

But there are questions...mostly in me. And that tells me that I haven't truly surrendered. I haven't let go. I'm still doing a lot of things my way.

That's the truth about me.

What about you? Will you take the "One Word" challenge for 2011? What's your word?

Thoughts from WFX - Day One

This week I'm at WFX in Atlanta and I say this every time I go to one of these conferences.

I am truly BLESSED to be on staff at The Crossing.

There are SO many unhealthy churches out there with people who are hurting...really hurting...yet working to spread the gospel in an environment where it isn't being lived out.

It's TRAGIC...and it's not helping the Kingdom. It's not how He intended it.

I keep hearing folks say that when they come to these conferences, they find solace in the fact that other folks have the same challenges and the same issues that they have at their church.

Really?

I'm not talking about technical issues with gear. I'm talking about culture issues. Unhealthy culture issues. I find it disturbing that these folks are working in such unhealthy environments and yet accept it as normal when they find out others are too.

There's a lot of healing that needs to happen in local churches before the work of the Big "C" church can truly be done. My friend Anthony Coppedge says there should be an altar call at one of these events so that these folks can be prayed over. That might be a start, but I don't know if it's enough.

Is the culture in your church what you would consider "healthy?" What can we, as leaders, do to help spread the culture of our local "healthy" churches to other local "unhealthy" churches?

My Four [Health] Goals

Our Programming Director at The Crossing asked each member of her team to come up with 4 goals that were measurable and that could be accomplished by June 1st. Here are mine.

While all four of these goals are very personal in nature, I believe they will have significant impact on the way I function in my role at The Crossing. I think that improving my “health” level in each of these areas will be reflected in my personal and professional conduct and have a direct influence on my team.

1. Physical Health – I’ve really neglected my physical health over the last two years. I’ve not been going to the gym regularly and not regulating my nutrition effectively. This has led to me carrying around about 30 extra pounds.

I will resume regular workouts and meal planning following the Bill Phillips “Body for Life” plan. This is the program I followed more than 5 years ago when I was in the best physical (and emotional) shape of my life. I hope to lose 15 pounds by June 1st, but the bigger impact will be in the way I feel physically, which will enable me to be more effective in all aspects of my life.

2. Spiritual Health – My approach to my spiritual health has been haphazard at best. I’ve not been intentional with my prayer time or my study of the bible. I’m always envious of other people who know their bible so well, but haven’t dedicated myself to achieving that level of knowledge myself.

I will plan and schedule a minimum of 3 hours a week to pray and spend time in the Word. I will read the letters of Paul by June 1st.

3. Emotional Health – I’ve always needed some sort of emotional outlet whether that is deep discussions with a trusted person in my life or simply journaling. I’ve really neglected this part of my life over the last couple of years. I’ve been through some major life changes in that time, but for the most part have kept a lot of my feelings about those changes to myself.

I will resume blogging on a weekly basis, beginning with posting these goals. I will ask to be held accountable for a weekly entry on my blog and will use my postings to enter into deeper conversations.

4. Relational Health – Relationships have always been one of the most important things in my life and still are. I’ve always made friends easily and surround myself with people that I trust and value.

I’ve not protected the relationships that are most important in my life. Those with my wife and daughter especially have not been given the quality of attention that I think are necessary. I’ve also not developed my relationships with staff and volunteers to the depth that they deserve.

I will dedicate myself to quality time with my wife and daughter incorporating a weekly “date night” with my wife and spending the better part of my day off on Tuesdays with my daughter. I will be interruptible at home and make the relationships with my family my priority.

I will develop deeper relationships with staff and volunteers that go beyond the time spent together on the weekends. I would like to have monthly get-togethers with my teammates and their families that will enable us to build stronger community. I will take the time to learn the stories of the tech team volunteers so that I may know more about them than just their names and what capacity they serve in.

That's it. I've made them public now. I must now dedicate myself to making these goals happen and to being accountable to them. If you're reading this, I ask that you hold me accountable too.

Peace!